IELTS writing task 2

Hi guys, please have a look at my writing task 2 with the topic below and give me advice. thanks for reading

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Each concern has their own business strategies that easily lead to conflicting viewpoints, typically in office clothes: one group focuses on their employees’ dressing, another see work efficiency as the prime element. Based on these two schools of thought, I believe a successful business requires both two factors.
In the one hand, it is evidently claimed that the quality of a company is so essential that can gain prestige from customers. For example, a restaurant habitually runs following to versatile recipes with selective and fresh ingredients have more ability to leave their unique taste in customers’ tongue and fascinate their coming anew, even a fussy eater. In addition, a high-quality company has more likelihoods to attract investors since noone would plump for a business without the profit that could be achieved later, and work effectiveness is the principal driving force in collecting turnovers. Therefore, there is nothing erroneous when they train their employees to work with best quality.
In the other hand, albeit the work efficiency is undeniable, other factors especially appearance can also carry weight. Being smart in dressing is a way to brand a nice business’s image that can get a pleasant first impression from customers. In contrast, for instance, can a buyer have any sympathy for the company when all their assistants wear miniskirts and slovenly clothes welcoming them? Moreover, customers, who invariably need aid and guide, can easily identify staffs with others by their smart and polite dressing, particularly office uniforms.
By way of conclusion, I am of the opinion that every business has desire of permanently coming to fruition should ensure both features above: a good looking to attract customers and a well-qualification to make them become patrons

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