Please check grammar mistake and give me some advice to improve my writing skill

First, comparing between Japan and Malaysia, Japan has a developed economy, varied culture and religion. This is a country ranked in the world-leading about the economy, as well as the quality of life, besides, Malaysia is a country in Southeast Asia, although it is not as highly appreciated as Japan, Malaysia has the 29th largest economy in the world and a developed industrial country.
Second, there has much chance to work in Japan for foreigners with diverse fields, in the meanwhile, Malaysia has a policy of prioritizing jobs for indigenous people to reduce the country’s unemployment rate.
Third, The language requested in Japan is Japanese while English is a common language in the working environment in Malaysia.
Fourth, time and frequency of working in Japan are tighter than in Malaysia.
Just, in conclusion, there is more chance of a job and higher life quality in Japan than Malaysia, nevertheless, accompanied by is the higher requests of languages and experience for the employee to get a job in Japan.
Depends on the ability of yourself to decide where is the most suitable for you.

Khuyên thật bạn nên đi học viết 1 khóa ở trung tâm, chưa nhắc đến những lỗi sai vì mình mới đọc mấy câu đầu, nhưng văn viết của bạn không tự nhiên. Ví dụ, chẳng hạn như câu as well as the quality of life, besides,: dùng besides ở đây thấy rất chuối

3 Likes

Mình cám ơn bạn nhé.

Your writing is alright if you just started learning how to write in English. But your sentences are not often fluent and are sometimes awkward to read and understand. I had taken a look at your writing and made some changes to make everything flows smoother and easier to understand. You can use it as a template to improve your English writing skills in the future.

Source: I speak and write English for a living :kissing:

First, a comparison between Japan and Malaysia. Japan has a developed economy, with many cultures and religions. Its economy is so developed that it is currently one of the few world-leading country in economy and quality of life. Malaysia, on the other hand, is a country in Southeast Asia. Although it is not as highly appreciated as Japan, it is still a country that ranks 29th as the largest economy in the world and a developed industrial country.
Second, there are many opportunities for foreigners to work in Japan, with a multitude of fields they can choose. Meanwhile, there are less opportunities in Malaysia due to the country’s policy of prioritizing jobs for native people in order to reduce its unemployment rate.
Third, Japan uses Japanese as its main form of communication, while English is a much more common language in Malaysia.
Fourth, the working schedules in Japan are tighter than that of Malaysia.
In conclusion, there is more opportunities of getting a job and a better quality of life in Japan than in Malaysia. The catch is that Japan is a lot stricter with its language and demands much more dedication from its employee, more so than Malaysia’s working environment.
Which country is the most suitable for you will depend on your ability.

8 Likes

Thank you for spending time to give me the feedback.

Câu hỏi hay đấy coi như là luyện tập viết tiếng Anh.
Cái anh thấy em bị mắc là văn của em bằng tiếng Việt, rồi dịch sang tiếng Anh.
Như thế sẽ không tự nhiên khi đọc trong tiếng Anh, vì họ có cách diễn đạt của họ.

Thay vào đó cần tư duy và viết bằng tiếng Anh
Ví dụ khi mời khách đến nhà mình thì người Việt nói: Đừng làm khách nhé
Còn người Mỹ lại nói: Be my guest
Nếu tư duy kiểu tiếng Việt rồi dịch ra là: Don’t be my guest thì trái hẳn so với tự nhiên của họ

Thế nên muốn nói tốt tiếng Anh thì nghe người bản xứ nói nhiều
Muốn viết tốt tiếng Anh thì đọc nhiều.

Ngay từ câu đầu tiên
“First, comparing between Japan and Malaysia, Japan has a developed economy”

có thể sửa chút là
“First, comparing between Japan and Malaysia, Japan has a more developed economy”
Tuy chỉ thêm một chữ more thôi nhưng nó kết nối với vế trước vì em đang compare hai thứ.

Anyway,
Keep calm and learning

4 Likes

Em cám ơn góp ý của anh nhé.

1 Like

Ok em, we’re all learners

Thank you for spending time to give me the feedback.

Feedback is a mass noun, also known as an uncountable noun, and as such it doesn’t require an article at all.

2 Likes
83% thành viên diễn đàn không hỏi bài tập, còn bạn thì sao?